The Sacred Nature of Giving Advice – an elephant journal post

In which I share my thoughts about giving advice. Read an excerpt below and be sure to check out the full article over on elephant journal!

The Athenian lyric poet Solon is quoted as having said, “In giving advice, seek to help, not to please, your friend,” but Will Rogers said, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” So what’s the answer? How should we give advice to our friends, coworkers and acquaintances?

It seems that we should start by putting ourselves in our friends’ shoes. We should consider what we’d want to hear and how we’d want to hear it. Then, we should proceed carefully.

Our friends need time to rant—to rage, if necessary—about a problem. Sometimes an empathetic ear and a reply of, “Wow, that’s hard,” is all they’re really looking for.

We should never be on the lookout for an opportunity to offer advice—and unsolicited advice is usually a bad idea. Our friends come to us because they need help, not to make us feel good about being the ones giving it.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that it’s not up to us to make decisions for others. It’s up to us to listen first.